I dont deserve to live.

I dont deserve to live. Thats what I think, and thats what I feel everyone else should think about me. Ever since i’ve become a teenager my life has just been shit. You’ll probably say im just overreacting. You’re probably right. But i cant help it. I just hate myself so bad I can barely describe it. Im a failure at life. I had friends, then I lost them, im socially awkward, im a freak, im a coward, im pessimistic, im selfish, im useless, im dumb, im slow and im narrow-minded. I feel like Gods mistake. Aparrently God gave everyone a good trait, but not me. Like I said, im a mistake, a freak. I almost wish that I could be in a really difficult situation with my family life, that way i have an excuse to be depressed, but no, i have to just be living a sheltered life while being a overreactive, sensitive whiny teenager. When I think about myself in the future, the only thing i can think about is me living off social security, being ugly and having no friends. I wish someone could just kill me that way I could just be free of myself, because I dont deserve to have a great life but to be a dumb freak who just wastes space, time and energy. :’(